1. Inquire about fees.
When you consult with a divorce lawyer, discuss fees upfront so that you can focus on the litigation. Ask what the hourly rate is, when the fees are charged, what forms of payment are accepted, and whether or not the retainer is refundable.

2. Discuss the potential length of the litigation process.
Florida law can be tricky, and no attorney can predict the outcome of any case. However, a divorce specialist should be able to explain what may extend or shorten the length of the legal process.

3. Look into the lawyer’s history.
A qualified divorce attorney will have experience in handling various types of cases. Your representative should know what to expect from the judges as well as the other attorneys involved in the proceedings.

4. Ask how knowledgeable the attorney is with family law.
Many quality divorce attorneys don’t have enough experience with the various aspects of family law. Your lawyer should be familiar with all family court guidelines and procedures in your area.

5. Talk about the lawyer’s objectives.
If an attorney advises you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, the result can be devastating. Ask a potential representative how he or she intends to keep your best interests in mind.

6. Seek references.
Client testimonials can give you insight into whether or not a lawyer will meet your expectations. Ask clients how effectively and judiciously the attorney negotiated their Florida law cases.

7. Check the attorney’s availability.
Before hiring any divorce lawyer, look into how quickly he or she responds to your phone calls or emails. An easily accessible attorney will return messages promptly and communicate intentions clearly.

8. Ensure that you are comfortable around the attorney.
Your lawyer should be on your side from start to finish. You should be treated respectfully and courteously, and the attorney should earn your trust by displaying confidence and competence.

Ultimately the answer to the question “How do I choose a divorce lawyer?” is to hire someone who understands the delicate nature of the situation. Your personal story should be handled with your needs and goals in mind.

You are welcome to ask a question on our website.  http://www.cheshirefamilylaw.com

1. Don’t Date – The first thing that you will need to understand is that this won’t be a time to begin dating again. How you live your life will be scrutinized especially if the custody of your children is in question. Maintain a life above reproach while divorce proceedings are ongoing.
2. Hire an Attorney  You will need to hire your own attorney who will represent your interests only.
3. Take Your Name Off of Joint Accounts – If you leave your name on joint accounts and your ex-spouse defaults in the future, this will mean that creditors will be knocking on your door.
4. Open a Credit Account – You will need to establish a credit history that is separate from your spouse. Before you divorce, open an account at a store that will only be in your name.
5. Remove Your Spouse as Beneficiary -If you own financial products and your spouse is named as a beneficiary, you will need to change this before you begin divorce proceedings.
6. Keep Some Cash in a Safe Place – Sometimes, one spouse withdraws all of the money in the joint bank accounts. Before this can occur, make sure that you have a sum of cash in a safe place.
7. Keep a Log – By  keeping a log of what occurs between you and your spouse, you will be able to demonstrate to the court any negative behavior perpetrated by the other party.
8. Gather Evidence – You will also need to have proof of bad behavior. For example, if your spouse starts a fight in front of the children and there are witnesses, these witnesses will be useful to you in court later.
9. Make Copies of Important Documents – Protecting your interests will mean that you will need copies of bank statements and payments you made on your loans.
10. Invest in a Post Office Box – A post office box that only you can access will maintain the confidentiality of the correspondence from your lawyer.

This divorce checklist is not inclusive.  Of course, there are many other items that need to be considered.  In fact, if I’ve forgotten something, please feel free to leave a comment.

If you are wondering how to prepare for a divorce, the best thing you can do is follow the above divorce checklist. Divorce is never easy, but the divorce checklist will help make things run smoothly for you.

1) Is my spouse entitled to half of everything I own?

Generally speaking, yes. Most assets acquired during the marriage are considered marital property and are subject to equitable distribution.  Pre-marital assets are usually considered separate property and would not be entitled to the other spouse at the time of divorce. Also, an inheritance that is not co-mingled with marital funds, or real estate inherited that does not include the spouses name on the title, would normally be considered separate property and would not be entitled to the other spouse as well.

2)  How much alimony am I entitled to?

That depends on the Judge’s application of the law to the facts of your case.  There is a list of statutory factors in the law that a Judge must consider when determining the type, length of time, and amount of alimony that one spouse will be required to pay the other spouse.  Each case is different, depending on the facts of the marriage, including such things as length of marriage, disparity in income, age, health, and education of each spouse, as well as other factors. Not every case requires an automatic payment of alimony. A new alimony law was just passed, eliminating permanent alimony and any alimony in marriages less than 11 years.  I will discuss this further in an upcoming article.

3) How much time will the Judge give my former spouse with our children?

There is a list of factors, in Florida law, which the Judge uses to consider frequency and length of time-sharing in the case involving minor children.  The outcome of each case can vary, depending on the Judge’s discretion and factors of each case.  Under a new law that just passed, that is now being sent to the Governor of Florida for approval, children would automatically split their time equally with both parents.  There may be exceptions under certain circumstances.

4)  How much child support will I receive from my former spouse?

In the state of Florida, child support is based on mathematical calculations, set forth in the law, and includes such factors as the parents’ income, daycare costs, health insurance costs, and amount of time each parent will be spending separately with their minor children.  It also depends on how many minor children are in the family at the time of divorce.

5) How long will it take to complete my divorce?

That usually depends on whether the divorce is contested or uncontested.  An uncontested divorce can sometimes be completed, from start to finish, in as little as two to three months.  A contested divorce, where the parties are unable to agree on one or more issues of their case, can take one to two years to resolve.  The wise decision is for both spouses to compromise their claims and demands and enter into a written resolution with their spouse, thereby turning their divorce into an uncontested case.

Of course, you are always welcome to ask us a question on our website.  All inquiries are confidential.

By reviewing this list and following these tips, it is nearly certain that you can cut down on the time it takes to resolve your case, which will lead to less fees for which you will be responsible.

1. Start with the Right Attorney

The amount of money you spend on your divorce or family related litigation can be significantly minimized by choosing the right attorney. Do your research and choose someone experienced in the area of family law and who is attentive and interested in your situation. Attorney Eric Cheshire’s practice is exclusively in the area of Marital and Family law. He has successfully represented families in the area of Family Law for 25 years and upholds honest, Christian standards as he protects your rights while serving the best interest of the children.

2. Consolidate Questions for Telephone Communications

Many clients will call their attorney anytime a question comes up. While Attorney Cheshire is happy to take your calls as his schedule allows, many “quick questions” via phone, can lead to higher costs, because each communication is billed to you. Instead of phoning whenever a single question comes to mind, consider writing down any non‐emergency questions and call when you have several questions or comments at once. This will allow Attorney Cheshire to assist you with any questions or comments you may have in an efficient and timely manner, keeping your costs to a minimum. However, if an emergency, or time‐sensitive situation arises, please do not hesitate to contact Attorney Cheshire at once, as he has provided you with his office and cell phone numbers.

3. Communicate via E-‐Mail

E-mail has several advantages over phone or letters. First, e‐mail is easier for the attorney to file and record, which assists Attorney Cheshire in efficiently answering your present and future questions. Second, Attorney Cheshire can be sure to have the answer by the time he responds, compared to a phone call where you may catch Attorney Cheshire when your file is not immediately available to him. Like telephone calls, try to save multiple questions and put them all into one e-mail, so he can answer all of your questions at once. Several questions or comments in one e-mail costs much less then several e-mails with one comment or question in each.

4. Respond to Inquiries in a Timely Manner

Attorney Cheshire will likely have questions for you throughout his work on your legal matter. Just as he will do for you, it is important that you respond to any requests as quickly as possible. Forcing Attorney Cheshire to make several attempts to get in touch with you will increases costs.

5. List of Assets and Liabilities

Make a list of all of your assets and liabilities that you and your spouse have accumulated during the marriage and before the marriage. Include financial account numbers and balances, and a detailed description of your assets. By providing this information at the beginning of your case, you will save future litigation expenses.

6. Gather and Organize Your Documents

Please gather and organize your documents as specified by Attorney Cheshire. These documents will usually pertain to Mandatory Disclosure of financial records, or a Request to Produce, if applicable. Group documents together and make sure all requests are complete. You don’t want to pay your lawyer to do things that you can do yourself. This will definitely save you money.

7. List for Custody/Time-‐Sharing Issues

If child custody or time-sharing is an issue, make a detailed list, at the beginning of your case, of the reasons why your minor children should primarily reside with you. This helps Attorney Cheshire to focus on the most important issues of your custody litigation, which will save you time and money.

8. Be Willing to Discuss Issues With your Spouse

If you and your spouse, or the other party involved, are on speaking terms, you may be able to agree on matters between yourselves and present these verbal agreements to your attorneys. This will save you from spending money on any unnecessary litigation between Attorney Cheshire and other attorneys, or other interested parties.

9. Consider Mediating

Prepare for mediation or collaborative practice sessions. Think about how you wish to prioritize the issues. Do you want to discuss parenting time or custody issues first? Are there emergent financial issues that must be addressed right away? Make time to develop your agenda and share it with Attorney Cheshire. If either of you needs to do some homework before the session, you will have a chance to plan for that. You are in a much better position, financially and other-‐ wise, if you can settle out of court. By doing so, you choose the outcome of your case, rather than leaving your future, and the future of your children, for the Court to decide.

10. Set Reasonable Objectives

You cannot expect to achieve unrealistic results. Get a fair assessment of your case in the beginning and understand that things can change as the case progresses. It is nearly certain that both parties will have to compromise a little (or a lot) to resolve the case. Realize that divorce and family law litigation are emotionally fueled processes. Think critically and reasonably about your intentions and goals for the outcome. By having reasonable and realistic goals, you are making your case easier and saving yourself money.

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Lastly, show your attorney your appreciation by paying your bills timely as agreed. If Attorney Cheshire does not have to spend unnecessary time on your case attempting to collect payment, he can concentrate on what really matters… your case and the outcome.

In most instances when a marriage is dissolved in Florida, the factors in determining alimony for a spouse becomes a significant part of divorce proceedings. Alimony, also known as spousal maintenance, is in essence money paid by one spouse for the support of the other spouse during and after a divorce.

The initial consideration when settling a spouse’s alimony obligation is the determination of the ability to pay alimony. The court will examine the spouses gross income, then reduce it accordingly by deducting any and all mandatory deductions in order to determine the final net income of the spouse. It is normally at this point that a Judge will take a look at various factors to determine the type and amount of alimony awarded.  An alimony award is based on many considerations and circumstances.

In the State of Florida, types of alimony include:

• Bridge the Gap Alimony
• Durational Alimony
• Permanent Alimony
• Rehabilitative Alimony
• Temporary Alimony

It is important to note that these various types of alimony may be awarded separately or in conjunction with another, depending on the specific circumstances involved in the divorce case. State of Florida Statute 61.08 outlines factors that must be taken into consideration by Florida Family Court judges in determining how much alimony may be awarded.  These factors include:

• The standard of living established during the marriage
• The duration of the marriage
• The age and the physical and emotional condition of each party
• The financial resources of each party, including the non-marital and the marital assets and liabilities distributed to each
• The earning capacities, educational levels, vocational skills, and employ-ability of the parties and, when applicable, the time necessary for either party to acquire sufficient education or training to enable such party to find appropriate employment
• The contribution of each party to the marriage, including, but not limited to, services rendered in homemaking, child care, education, and career building of the other party
• The responsibilities each party will have with regard to any minor children they have in common
• The tax treatment and consequences to both parties of any alimony award, including the designation of all or a portion of the payment as a nontaxable, nondeductible payment
• All sources of income available to either party, including income available to either party through investments of any asset held by that party

A Florida Family Court Judge ultimately has the discretion to consider these factors, as well as any other factor necessary, to do equity and justice between the spouses. That is why alimony is the most complex and unpredictable part of the divorce process.  Of all the factors outlined, duration of the marriage is certainly one of the most important. The longer the union, the greater the likelihood of alimony.

How is alimony calculated?

Since a Florida Judge may consider whatever factors fairness and justice requires, a standard alimony calculation is not set by law and there are no specifications or standards for award amounts.

Taking a broad view of all the factors, you can prepare for many of them since most are matters of record. Focus your energy and efforts on your side of the case, on the factors you feel should be considered in the process, especially since the financial outcome may be influenced by your efforts in proving your case.

Finally, it is worth noting that once periodic or permanent alimony is granted, the Florida Family Court has the right to modify the award amount in the present and in the future.

If you have questions regarding Florida Alimony in the State of Florida, please contact: Eric C. Cheshire (561) 655-8844 or eric@cheshirefamilylaw.com

You may be thinking ‘…how is it even possible to learn how to deal with divorce? It’s just too tough a challenge right now, so how can I make the best of this? ’ Check out these 10 heart and mind healthy tips that will help you to let go and breathe easier so you can parent successfully, function and get through the trying times and on the road to recovery.

1) Have a good pity party.
Cry it out. Most times, releasing your emotions in this manner is greatly beneficial. Don’t deal with the divorce by bottling up all your emotions – get them out so you can move on and feel better.

2) Treat your body good.
Take a relaxing bubble bath, drink lots of water and eat nutritious foods. Even if you have no appetite, force yourself to eat at least small, healthy meals and take supplements especially during this time to support your immune system. Retire early at night and get plenty of sleep. Your body will thank you for it and you will give yourself the much-needed building blocks needed to face each new day.

3) Take long walks.
When you’re tired of coping and want to blow off some steam turn to exercise! Staying active is an excellent way to de-stress, as well as giving you added energy. Go outdoors, enjoy the sunshine, take deep breaths of fresh air, it will work wonders for your outlook on life.

4) Get some counseling.
There are times when we need the help of someone else. This is one of those times. While friends are helpful to love and encourage you, rely also on someone who is not emotionally involved. It will help to have an experienced, non-biased divorce support group or clergy to listen and give good advice. Professional counseling is considered by many as one of the best ways to cope with divorce and the resulting life events.

5) Read a good book.
Between work, kids and sleeping, there isn’t always a lot of time left for reading. However, carve out 30-60 minutes a day, early in the morning or before retiring at night, when you have no distractions. This time is just for you, to relax and be calm. Sit in your favorite chair with your favorite cup of tea. The best book to read would be the Good Book, yes, the Bible! Start with the book of Psalms or choose some of your favorite passages that have brought you hope and comfort in the past. There is power in God’s Word and so many promises to hold close to your heart each day!

6) Meet a friend for lunch.
Even though you don’t feel great, a warm hug and a smile from a friend will infuse you with a sense of well-being. Studies show that touch is vital to existence, and when that comes in the form of pure love from a friend, you will feel better instantly.

7) Sign up for volunteer work.
One of the greatest ways to pull yourself out of a slump is by helping others. Do some research in your area and see if there is a soup kitchen to feed those who are going through hard times, find a church group that you can contact and help them to help others. By volunteering, you’ll also meet new people and start building a new relationships and establish new routines which will help rebuild your life after divorce.

8) Prioritize your issues and set goals.
Separation and divorce can be overwhelming until you break down your tasks into smaller bits. Take one step at a time. Talk with your attorney and follow his instructions in a timely manner so that your case can run as smoothly as possible. Dealing with divorce means taking action on your most pressing issues like finding another place to live. Then gradually deal with other matters as they arise. Eventually, you will sort it all out. Setting goals is a very powerful method of stress relief as you feel great when you’re able to cross off what you’ve achieved. Rather than focusing on the timescale, tune into the journey and your personal progression.

9) Stay within your financial budget.
Address your needs, not your wants, during this time. Make a budget and stick to it. You may feel like it would make you happy to go on an all-day spending spree at the mall or buy a flashy new car to drive around. However, after the newness has worn off, you will be stuck with the stress of an additional financial burden. You don’t want to make life after divorce more difficult than it needs to be. Keep life simple and take one day at a time.

10) Let Go and let God.
While all of these other coping with divorce tips are very helpful, and some are crucial, the most important piece of advice we can give regarding de-stressing your life, is to give your past, your present, and your future over to God. No one can carry you through this time like He can, and He will give you the peace that passes all understanding. Just let go and let God heal you through each and every day.

Resources:

Discovery Fit & Health – how to de-stress your life
Examiner.com – how to de-stress
DivorceLifeLine.co.uk – keeping your cool
Socialmoms.com – relationships

There is an age factor when it comes to children and divorce. Dealing with divorce is very different for young children versus adolescents. Adolescents are more likely to respond to a divorce by striving for independence, and this can lead to problem behaviors with some adolescents. Additionally, many adolescents develop trust issues with one or both parents. Pre-adolescent and younger children tend to become more dependent on caregivers, which can be problematic in some custody situations. Younger children are also less likely to have realistic expectations, and many young children cling to a desire for the divorced parents to reunite.

Some researchers speculate that gender is a factor for children and divorce. Dealing with divorce often leaves children with one parent for a significant period of time. Children who spend a significant amount of time with the same-sex parent tend to have better emotional outcomes. However, it is important to note that the quality of the parent-child relationship is more important than the parent’s sex.

Support from family, friends, and the community can play a huge role in the impact of divorce on children. Children with a dependable non-parental support system tend to respond to the divorce with less anxiety and anger than children without a strong support system. This is especially true for young children. When children experience the emotional roller coaster that often accompanies a divorce, it helps to have a trusted adult nearby.

Parental conflict plays a tremendous role in the impact of divorce on children. In marriages that are filled with conflict and aggression, children of all ages actually tend to respond positively to divorce. In marriages with a low level of open conflict, children tend to have more trouble adapting to the divorce. Custody arrangements are very important in either situation.

Children are surprisingly resilient, but the importance of support and stability cannot be underestimated when parents are going through a divorce. With love and support, children can and will adjust to life after the divorce.

What Do I Need to Get a Divorce in Florida?

Financial Paperwork

Throughout your marriage, you and your spouse probably left a big paper trail of financial documents. Before getting a divorce, gather these things:

• Statements from brokerage accounts
• Bank statements
• State and federal tax returns for you and your spouse
• Homeowner’s, health, car and life insurance policies
• Retirement account statements
• Pay stubs, W-2 forms and 1099 forms for you and your spouse
• Property leases
• Credit card statements and loan documents, including paperwork related to mortgages and car loans
• Paperwork related to your household budget

Personal Documents

Compile all of these documents before getting a divorce:

• Your marriage license
• Birth certificates for you, your spouse and your children
• Employment contracts
• Passports of children
• Divorce records related to prior marriages
• Divorce- and marriage-related contracts between you and your spouse, including prenuptial agreements, separation agreements and ante nuptial agreements.
• Social security cards for you, your spouse and your children

Business Documents

If you or your spouse own a business, gather documents relating to that business prior to getting a divorce. Examples include:

• Partnership agreements
• Business tax returns from the local, state and federal level
• Business balance sheets
• Business insurance policies
• Business contracts
• Profit and loss statements
• Minute books and corporate records
• Shareholder agreements
• Credit card statements and records related to the business

Documents Concerning Assets that You Own

If you’re wondering, “What do I need to get a divorce in Florida?” you should know that you will also need to gather documents that relate to assets that are owned by you and your spouse. They may include:

• An itemized breakdown of items stored in safe deposit boxes
• Documents related to land that you and your spouse own separately or jointly
• Loan statements or titles for boats and motor vehicles that are owned separately or jointly
• An itemized breakdown of valuable items that are owned separately or jointly

Getting a divorce is a difficult enough process with all the emotions behind it.  By having all of this paperwork in order, you will lay the groundwork for a smoother and less stressful divorce in Florida.