Dealing with divorce is challenging in every respect. Divorce can be one of the most stressful times in a person’s life and simply coping with resulting changes in lifestyle and day-to-day routines becomes the new norm for a period of time. In fact, studies have shown that a newly divorced couple goes through the same stages of grief as those dealing with a death of a loved one. Some of the emotions include denial, anger, depression and acceptance. Yet despite this upheaval in emotions, there are effective ways to deal with divorce and establish stability in your daily life.
You may be thinking ‘…how is it even possible to learn how to deal with divorce? It’s just too tough a challenge right now, so how can I make the best of this? ’ Check out these 10 heart and mind healthy tips that will help you to let go and breathe easier so you can parent successfully, function and get through the trying times and on the road to recovery.
10 heart and mind healthy tips
1) Have a good pity party.
Cry it out. Most times, releasing your emotions in this manner is greatly beneficial. Don’t deal with the divorce by bottling up all your emotions – get them out so you can move on and feel better.
2) Treat your body good.
Take a relaxing bubble bath, drink lots of water and eat nutritious foods. Even if you have no appetite, force yourself to eat at least small, healthy meals and take supplements especially during this time to support your immune system. Retire early at night and get plenty of sleep. Your body will thank you for it and you will give yourself the much-needed building blocks needed to face each new day.
3) Take long walks.
When you’re tired of coping and want to blow off some steam turn to exercise! Staying active is an excellent way to de-stress, as well as giving you added energy. Go outdoors, enjoy the sunshine, take deep breaths of fresh air, it will work wonders for your outlook on life.
4) Get some counseling.
There are times when we need the help of someone else. This is one of those times. While friends are helpful to love and encourage you, rely also on someone who is not emotionally involved. It will help to have an experienced, non-biased divorce support group or clergy to listen and give good advice. Professional counseling is considered by many as one of the best ways to cope with divorce and the resulting life events.
5) Read a good book.
Between work, kids and sleeping, there isn’t always a lot of time left for reading. However, carve out 30-60 minutes a day, early in the morning or before retiring at night, when you have no distractions. This time is just for you, to relax and be calm. Sit in your favorite chair with your favorite cup of tea. The best book to read would be the Good Book, yes, the Bible! Start with the book of Psalms or choose some of your favorite passages that have brought you hope and comfort in the past. There is power in God’s Word and so many promises to hold close to your heart each day!
6) Meet a friend for lunch.
Even though you don’t feel great, a warm hug and a smile from a friend will infuse you with a sense of well-being. Studies show that touch is vital to existence, and when that comes in the form of pure love from a friend, you will feel better instantly.
7) Sign up for volunteer work.
One of the greatest ways to pull yourself out of a slump is by helping others. Do some research in your area and see if there is a soup kitchen to feed those who are going through hard times, find a church group that you can contact and help them to help others. By volunteering, you’ll also meet new people and start building a new relationships and establish new routines which will help rebuild your life after divorce.
8) Prioritize your issues and set goals.
Separation and divorce can be overwhelming until you break down your tasks into smaller bits. Take one step at a time. Talk with your attorney and follow his instructions in a timely manner so that your case can run as smoothly as possible. Dealing with divorce means taking action on your most pressing issues like finding another place to live. Then gradually deal with other matters as they arise. Eventually, you will sort it all out. Setting goals is a very powerful method of stress relief as you feel great when you’re able to cross off what you’ve achieved. Rather than focusing on the timescale, tune into the journey and your personal progression.
9) Stay within your financial budget.
Address your needs, not your wants, during this time. Make a budget and stick to it. You may feel like it would make you happy to go on an all-day spending spree at the mall or buy a flashy new car to drive around. However, after the newness has worn off, you will be stuck with the stress of an additional financial burden. You don’t want to make life after divorce more difficult than it needs to be. Keep life simple and take one day at a time.
10) Let Go and let God.
While all of these other coping with divorce tips are very helpful, and some are crucial, the most important piece of advice we can give regarding de-stressing your life, is to give your past, your present, and your future over to God. No one can carry you through this time like He can, and He will give you the peace that passes all understanding. Just let go and let God heal you through each and every day.
Resources:
Discovery Fit & Health – how to de-stress your life
Examiner.com – how to de-stress
DivorceLifeLine.co.uk – keeping your cool
Socialmoms.com – relationships