Getting a divorce should come as a collaborative decision in which both partners have prepared themselves emotionally.

Preparing for a divorce takes time, giving each person a while to assess their situation and determine whether or not to continue the process.

Before hiring a divorce lawyer, ask yourself a few important questions to determine if getting a divorce is something you really want to do.

1. Why do I really want a divorce?

If you think you might be preparing for a divorce, you should realize that a divorce is not a simple breakup.  A divorce is something more serious and finite. It cannot make your partner realize how much he or she has lost after the divorce. It doesn’t make someone change for the better, and it most likely will not change your partner’s heart or mind. Divorce only ends the marriage. If your reason for getting divorced is something more than ending the marriage, then you should rethink your decision.

2. Do I still have feelings for my partner?

Sometimes, it is best to work on your relationship before opting for a divorce. Many people who want a divorce still have deep feelings for their partner, but constant arguing has created a lack of intimacy. Try and work on your relationship before ending the marriage to prevent a feeling of loss after the divorce.

3. Am I serious about a divorce or just reacting emotionally?

Heated arguments can make some people jump to the wrong conclusions. Don’t make your decision about a divorce out of anger and frustration. Making an emotionally charged decision doesn’t always work out for the best. Give yourself a few days to cool down and see if your feelings are still the same.

4. Have I done everything I can to save my marriage?

Though talking to your partner can help, it often takes a mediator to help work out your problems. Read marriage books, go see a marriage counselor and take some time to focus on the relationship. Talk to each other about what it was like when the marriage worked, when and why it went wrong and what you’re both willing to do to save it.

5. Can I handle the consequences of a divorce?

If you are ready for your finances and lifestyle to change, then you are ready for a divorce. If you cannot accept your children’s sadness and your family’s grief, then you are not ready for a divorce. You are ready for a divorce when you can approach it with no anger, resentment, frustration or hurt feelings.  Here are a few tips for Life After Divorce.

6. Have I researched, planned and prepared myself for a divorce?

Preparing for a divorce means dealing with a lot of paperwork. You will have to gather all of your account numbers, addresses, phone numbers, assets, debts, credit cards and so on. Do as much research before the divorce to prevent a longer, more drawn-out legal process.  Here are the top 8 legal documents to change after a divorce.

7. Am I ready to take control of my life?

Approach a divorce with the same maturity, understanding and respect that you would with anything in your life. The attitude you choose to have during the divorce will determine the type of divorce you have and the way you will approach your own life afterward.  The best choice is to approach the divorce process objectively.  We’ve prepared a Top 10 Checklist – Preparing for a Divorce.

Ask yourself these hard questions and answer them honestly.  Sometimes, people think they should be preparing for a divorce, but instead, they should wait and see if resolutions can be reached.  Resolve your difficulties beforehand, and make decisions that will positively affect you and your spouse.  Divorce is not the only option.

When you’re ready to consult with a divorce attorney in Florida, contact Eric C. Cheshire and let him guide you through the process.  You can also find a lot of information on our website to prepare you for a divorce.