Ground Rules for Living Together While Separated or Divorcing

Obtaining separate residences during a divorce is not always an option.  Sometimes, a married couple needs to wait until the house sells. Other times, they have to wait for changes to other financial challenges.  Hopefully, the terms of the divorce are amicable enough to last another few months under the same roof.  If you are considering living with your soon-to-be ex-spouse during a divorce, then this list will help you.  We’ve included a few ground rules for living together while separated or divorcing for the potentially uncomfortable situation.

Create a Manageable Budget While Living Together

Since financial disagreements are one of the main reasons that people split up, be sure to handle this situation cautiously. Sit down with your ex to determine the financial obligations that you share. If both of you work and earn similar incomes, then consider dividing the financial burden equally. However, if one of you earns significantly more than the other one does, then you’ll need to negotiate. While preparing for divorce, create a manageable budget for the time that you’ll remain in the same residence.

Allocate Responsibilities and Live Courteously

Once you and spouse decide to dissolve your relationship, be sure to share household responsibilities while you are living together. Allocate the chores fairly and plan a time to do them. Decide where each of you will sleep, and be considerate of each others’ personal space. In fact, try to think of your ex as a roommate. For instance, wash the dishes that you use, and don’t eat food that the other person purchased. Be mindful of the time that you spend in the bathroom and share the home’s common family areas.

Arrange a Parenting Schedule

When you’re preparing for divorce, you’ll need to organize a parenting schedule. Decide which days each of you will have full responsibility of the kids. If you have an infant or a toddler, then you will need to decide who will take care of feedings, oversee baths and get up at night with the child. Be sure to share school drop offs and pick ups as well as the responsibility of transporting children to and from after school activities. A parenting schedule will help your children adjust to the separation. Furthermore, it may make it easier for them to shift households once you and your ex no longer live together.

Do Not Become Friends with Benefits

It can be easy to fall into old habits, but do not sleep together. The intimacy is likely to be confusing. If one of you would like to reconcile the relationship, then your eventual permanent separation will be even more devastating.

Don’t Bring Home a Date

To make your living situation function more smoothly, do not bring a date home while you are living under the same roof with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Once you are divorced, it’s fine to date. But, for now, be considerate of your ex’s feelings.

Final Thoughts about Divorce and Living with Your Ex

When you carry out basic living considerations and exercise patience, you and your ex can continue living together while getting a divorce until your finances and emotions permit you to move on to the next phase of your life. If you are considering divorce and unsure whether or not you could continue living with your spouse, then you might want to consult with a divorce attorney, such as Eric C. Cheshire, for an initial consult.  Lastly, if you are currently living with an ex-spouse and have another “how to” tip you want to share, please contact us.  We will gladly amend the article to include new tips.

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