Divorce can be one of the most difficult transitions a family experiences. While many children eventually adjust, divorce often has emotional, behavioral, and social effects that can surface in subtle or unexpected ways. Understanding how divorce can impact children, and recognizing the warning signs early, can help parents provide the support their children need during this time.
Below are the top five signs that children may not be coping well with divorce, along with context around why these reactions are common.
1. Acting Out or Behavioral Changes
One of the most common effects of divorce on children is a noticeable change in behavior. Children may act out because they lack the emotional language to express feelings like anger, confusion, fear, or sadness.
This can include:
Increased defiance or aggression
Emotional outbursts or frequent tantrums
Trouble following rules at home or school
These behaviors often reflect a child’s attempt to regain a sense of control during a time of uncertainty and change.
2. Persistent Sadness or Emotional Withdrawal
It is normal for children to feel sad after a divorce, but prolonged sadness or withdrawal may indicate that a child is struggling to cope.
Parents may notice:
Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed
Ongoing low mood or frequent crying
Emotional detachment from family or friends
These reactions can stem from grief related to changes in family structure and routines.
3. Increased Anxiety or Fear of Abandonment
Divorce can cause children to worry about stability and security, particularly when living arrangements or schedules change.
Common signs include:
Clinginess or difficulty separating from a parent
Excessive worry about routines or transitions
Fear that another parent or caregiver might leave
This anxiety is often tied to uncertainty about the future and a child’s need for reassurance.
4. Withdrawal from Friends or Social Activities
Some children respond to divorce by pulling away socially. They may stop participating in extracurricular activities or avoid spending time with friends.
Social withdrawal can signal that a child feels overwhelmed, embarrassed, or unsure how to talk about what is happening at home.
5. Declining School Performance
Academic challenges are another common effect of divorce on children. Emotional stress can make it difficult to concentrate, stay motivated, or keep up with school responsibilities.
Warning signs may include:
Falling grades
Trouble focusing in class
Behavioral concerns raised by teachers
School is often where the emotional impact of divorce becomes most visible.
Other Effects of Divorce on Children
In addition to the signs above, some children may experience:
Sleep disturbances or nightmares
Changes in appetite
Physical complaints such as headaches or stomachaches
Feelings of guilt or responsibility for the divorce
Teenagers may also show increased irritability, withdrawal, or risk-taking behaviors as they process the changes in their family.
Helping Children Cope with Divorce
While divorce can be challenging, parental support plays a key role in helping children adjust. Maintaining routines, encouraging open communication, minimizing conflict, and reassuring children that they are loved and supported can all help ease the transition.
If concerning behaviors persist or intensify over time, seeking guidance from a counselor, therapist, or other child-focused professional may be helpful.
Divorce is a major life change, but with understanding and support, many children are able to adapt and move forward in healthy ways.
A divorce with kids presents unique challenges that impact the entire family. With more than 25 years of experience in the areas of divorce and family law, attorney Eric C. Cheshire combines compassion, integrity, and expertise in his unswerving effort to provide every client with the best possible service.
If you are struggling with legal issues related to a divorce or child custody matter, contact us today at (561) 677-8090 to schedule a consultation.